The Big Day cont'd

OK, now for the run (see last post for the swim and bike).

My feet felt like they were on fire. My legs were tired too but that was to be expected. I also did not feel the usual urge to start running like I did in the half-IM's I had done or the bricks during my training. In my last brick, I felt great on the run after my bike but of course, I hadn't ridden 112 miles! But I was so hoping I'd feel good in the run since that is my background. But nope, not at all.

I hobbled out to the run course feeling discouraged and just plain icky. I didn't want to do it - I wanted to just go back to my room. The slow bike portion really got to me, as did the pain in my feet.

Somehow, I mustered the energy to run (more like shuffle). There were lots of spectators at this point so it was probably my attempt to save face. I jogged down Thomas Drive, past the finish line chute, with dozens of spectators saying "go Cindy!". That helped a lot.

We wound our way out to the narrow road through a residential area. I was really hurting. I wanted to stop. I told myself to do what Lynne did: run to each aid station, then walk thru the aid station, then run to the next.

I did that for awhile, also stopping to pee at each aid station too. I started wondering where this urine was coming from as I was not drinking enough water. I knew that but couldn't bring myself to drink plain water. I had a few cups of it but mainly drank the Gatorade.

I noticed that after drinking the Gatorade, I felt better. I had small surges of energy between each station as I had in the long course but this time, I was moving much slower. Thankfully, I did not have any nausea or GI issues. I just had to pee like a banshee at almost every single aid station.

We ran 6 miles out to the national park that everyone had told me about, then around in one big circle inside the park, then back out on the same road. Basically it was an out-and-back course that we had to run twice. I had thought that would be nice but once it got dark (at 5:00 PM), the park was very dark. That turned out to be not fun at all.

After going through the park I found myself walking more and more. I looked at my watch and saw my dream of a 12 - 13 hr finish time fade away. For awhile, I was holding on to the 13 hr finish time but the more I walked, the more I knew it was out of my hands.

When I got back to the turn around point, I was completely miserable. I did not want to finish. I saw Kurt and Kevin there and they both cheered me on. Kurt ran a short way with me and I started crying again. I've never done that before nor have I ever felt that bad in a race before. I've run 12 marathons and 2 half-IM's and NONE of them have been like that.

Kurt was awesome. He said over and over again how important it was to finish and that it didn't matter what my time was. He said I was doing a great job and he was very proud of me, which being the total sap that I am, made me cry even more. So I sucked it up and kept going.

But I will say one thing - I will never, ever forget going around that turn-around point, knowing that I had 13.1 miles to go in the dark with feet hurting so bad that it made me cry, and how much I did not want to go - I will never forget that feeling and how somehow I just kept going.
Deep inside I knew that I could not, and would not, quit. But it was the hardest thing I've ever done.

The 2nd loop was run, walk, run, walk, run, walk and then just walk. I walked a lot of it with a few short bursts of shuffling along. I wanted to get to the finish line so bad. I tried every trick up my sleeve that had gotten me out of slumps before but this slump was too deept to get out of.

I thought of how Wendy Mader got herself to the finish line despite having a horrible marathon too. She had said she had finished with a smile on her face and fists in the air. It really helped me keep going. Here was a champion triathlete, one who was trying to mimic her previous race of winning the Hawaii IM - she had a lot more pressure to do well than I did - and she managed to finish. If she can do it, I can do it!

I stumbled on. Finally, at mile 20, I saw Kurt in the dark! He had run that far out to meet me! Yay! That really helped. He tried to get me to run more but I couldn't so we walked on. Then I started getting a little more energy and started jogging again. We were getting closer to that finish line and I wanted to get there so bad, even though I'd have to face the clock and see my disappointing time. But somehow, it seemed to matter less and less.

Then, at mile 24 we saw Marshall! I was shocked. I thought he had finished long ago. Kurt told me that he was having problems and he had tried to say something to me when we passed each other but I didn't know he was that bad. I felt so bad for him! He was walking very slowly and looked really pale. But as usual, he had a positive attitude and was fine just walking. Amazing!

I considered just walking in with him. After all, we had trained together for so long and I think of him almost as a brother now, but I had a little juice left in me and I knew he would want me to keep going. It was hard to run on but I did.

Not long after that, I picked up the pace and finally was in a full-on sprint to the finish line. I knew it may look silly but I didn't care. I stretched out and ran the last 1.5 miles in a fairly fast pace. Even Kurt was amazed! When I turned down Thomas drive, I was slapping hands with the spectators and they were yelling for me. Since my name was on my number, they all yelled "go Cindy!" and "bring it home, Cindy!" It was really cool.

I turned down the chute to the finish line and was on cloud nine. I started to sprint faster for the finish but there was a woman ahead of me going slow and I didn't want to blow past her at the end so I had to slow down and let her finish. I jogged in place so she could get her finish line photo and then I crossed the line. Finally.

Finish time: 14:26:34. Not what I wanted but then again, who gets what they want in a first time race? And I learned a lot along the way.

Now, two days later, I'm happy as a clam that I finished. I had a ton of support from my husband and friends and what more can anyone ask for?

And the crazy thing is, I've decided to do one more. I want to get a better bike, better bike fit, and better bike shoes, and a few more long rides under my belt and try one more time. I think that's a good thing that the experience ended on such a positive note that I want to do it again. For now, this blog is over, but if I get into Ironman Arizona...I'll be back!

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read my rantings on this blog. It was fun and it helped me stay accountable to my training. And someday, I hope it will help my kids if they ever set a big goal to work toward. Take care and keep in touch!